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Sunday, January 31, 2010
331 : Sinful -RANT AHEAD- I was just briefly looking thru my previous entries under THE AHMI LIFE, and i realised that how much happier i am today than i was 10-12 months ago. I won't say i've been through hell lots of shit, but i am certain i had my fair share of it. Since the 1st day of conscription, i keep thinking how i am going to be able to adapt to all the regimented nonsense that is to be become of me. And now, day after day, week after week, one paycheque after another, its all growing numb, and being happy isn't all the important anymore. As we consciously segment our lives with different phases and stages, it shows how we're all very short sighted about our lives in general. And i hate that feeling that my life needs to be split into years, it all seems so short. When i hear of my superiors saying how short life is, and how much life they had wasted (sadly) in the service, in terms of minutes and seconds, his one day and mine are exactly the same. Now, i start to worry, if i am going to waste another good 1-2 years of my life floating around aimlessly doing nothing productive, or not as productive as another path in which i would have taken, well.... nothing we can do about it. It hurts even more to realise how i'm still complaining about my ahmi life when so many others are out there suffering from natural disaster or having their families taken away by diseases or accidents. My life is good, and i have to start to be thankful about it. Less the toothaches of course =( -END RANT. - Still, the thought of walking into school and doing funny crazy things is just exhilarating. 6 more months to go. Labels: The Ahmi Life 328 : 45th You know what they say, random :  Interestingly i'm a communist on crack. The BMX has gone mad, and he's lashing out at any passer-bys without proper bearings and people who do not respond to his phone calls. He's calling emergency paratroopers and we're the ones eating the bullets for them. My sleep deprived friend is currently a proxy for the company meat bag, with the queen calming everyone down and telling us to take the chill pill. I say coup d'etat and bring the show down. And luckily, i'm just saying. New week, no surprises, new threats, one man to appease, and its the SSDD again. Thankfully i've got lots of medical distractions coming up. Its about time i let go. Labels: other random works, The Ahmi Life 327 : Enough A recent stunt by the shire's boss, henceforth known as BMX had left me baffled. To cut a tremendously long story short, he had decided to convert his "Mediterranean" hair style, otherwise known as 地中海, to a more jialat appearance known to some as HAGE (har-ghey), bald. Yes, he paid 5 bucks to shave off what little hair he had left on his sides, and now we all have come to acknowledge him in his transcended stage. As to why we shirefolks named him BMX, that is a whole new story altogether. With his lack of hair, he had apparently lost his common sense too. There had been 1 too many incidents to prove that point. But, to prevent the deepest darkest shire secrets from leaking into the mortal world, i've decided to speak in analogies. Imagine yourself going on a trip, say to germany for 3 weeks holiday during summer, and luckily we in sunny island sg are summer clothing friendly. But the thing is you're only flying over in 4 months time. All of a sudden, amidst your exams, which is your busiest period, your parents come running to you with a luggage, and demands you pack 3 weeks worth of clothes into the luggage. Reason because "YOU'LL HAVE TO START PREPARING." Then again, won't you need the clothes to wear for the next 4 months before you fly off ? The counter argument, or should i say solution your parents provided was that you can always treat the luggage as your wardrobe for quite some time, and 3 weeks worth of clothes is a lot to pack, and they worry you won't have time. INSANITY, CHECK. PARANOIA, CHECK. Imagine yourself kidnapped by armed robbers demanding a ransom of say 1 million bucks. You have in your pocket 200 dollars, and your mobile phone. The police know where you are, your family is informed, your work colleagues are as blur as sotong as to what had happened to you as you have failed to answer the phone. Your phone rings and rings non stop while the police outside the robber's safehouse are trying to strike a deal with your kidnappers, a safe passage out, and 1 million bucks. The guard watching over you got annoyed and picks up the phone in the pocket for you as your hands are tied. Your boss was on the other line looking for you, asking why you didn't report for work for the last 2 days. The guard of course immediately informs the one on the line of your dire situation, and the big amount of ransom on your head. Your boss without a second thought inquired the guard of much is there in your wallet. The guard, being naive and thinking "hey it wouldn't hurt if we did that" checked, and reported 200 bucks to your boss. With this information, your boss suggested to the guard to grab your 200 bucks first and let you off for an hour or so, considering that you will live another good 40 years or so, taking 1 million bucks divide by the number of hours you will live before dying of natural causes, and there you have it, a few hours off the kidnappers' hands, and a few hours inside your boss's office solving shit before releasing you back to your kidnappers. Reason being ? The show must still run with or without you, captured or not. PROFESSIONALISM, CHECK. CARE FOR CHEAP AND HARDWORKING SHIREFOLK, MISSING. And friends, thats just the tip of the iceberg. During office hours, my slumber chamber was unlocked, and in slipped a fellow colleague to catch some winks. He noticed a nicely pulled bed, a clear pillow and bed side table in the corner of the room. There were someone elses' shoes beneath the bed, hinting that the bed is currently owned. Compared to the rest of the occupied beds which was made blatantly obvious with ruffled bedsheets, unkempt shoes laying about, and worst off, weeks old mouldy laundry piled up in a corner, one tend to choose a nicer bed to lie on, if only a little while. Needless to say, that nicer bed with a nice pot-pourri of spring flowers stationed on a side desk belongs to me. The worst happened, this colleague drooled on my pillow, kicked down my towel which hunged at the edge of the bed, and to top it off, he slept with boots on. Even if he needs to use my bed, he could have asked but didn't. He didn't even try to arrange back nicely after sleeping. HE FREAKING SOILED MY BED SHEET. I have to do a tiny investigation to find out who this fker is, but out of respect of our working relationship i let the matter rest. Imagine the shock i had when i came back to change out to out-of-office wear, only to see my towel on the floor, bottom part of bed sheet with mud, pillow flipped the other side, and to add off, a not so desired sweat stench on my bed. 6 more pay checks.... 6 more. Labels: The Ahmi Life 323 : Avatar What a way to conclude the end of another 'off' period here in Sg. I've got so many friends/chiongsua buddies/ex-classmates going on holidays overseas, its actually pretty boring spending time at home. Of course, i could now officially declare Dec 2009 as the month of Modern Warfare 2. It was absolutely a total 'switch off' month where i just bo-chup about all the firefighting back at work, and just relax... Think of nothing. Nothing at all. Ahhhh.... Today's the last sunday i'll have for the next 2 months to spend it at home (projected), there's going to be more conflicts, fighting, pushing of responsibilities while throwing MCs at your face. Argh. Good news, just watched avatar, and it totally blew my brains out. I'm super impressed with the motion acting and the whole rendition of the environment which is pandora, it felt surreal yet absorbs you into it at the same time. Story is thankfully not draggy for a 2hr40mins show (i had concerns after watching the 風雲which was 2hrs long). In fact, you don't even realise 2hrs was up. I didn't even want to leave my seat after the credits rolled finished. For awhile throughout the movie, some parts of the design of the beasts somehow hinted at all the FFs i had played, it was reminisce of some of the mighty creatures i fell during the duration of the game. Awesome-ness. Haix, time to fight fire again. Labels: insignificant me 2009, The Ahmi Life 322 : Pew Pew What better way to spend another course break again than to prone, crouch, sprint away into the dense vegetation with an assault rifle constantly banging against your back. When in doubt, empty the magazine, that's what i had learnt over the past 2 weeks of training. Night training ain't as bad as i though it as it was used to be, just the weather getting hotter just a 'lil bit and gotta turn up the air-con. Sure, my mouse and keyboard would get greasy with sweat and oil now and then, but that's why i bought a handy dandy baby wipes to handle all these interferences. I even got my mic up and running to exercise my extensive commanding knowledge online, though during actual situations, my voice was muted in the midst of all the triggering happy. After 2 gruesome week of day time working/night time gaming, i've finally reached the highest attainable level in the game with all the shit unlocked. Ah yes, spoken like a true lifeless gaming addict. If you're a guy you prolly know what i'm talking about :  Meet Mew-Chan, my beloved wrist cushion rest buddy. Of course if anyone is interested in adding me on steam, provided you know me, just use my default live messenger email address. On a different note all together, it is confirmed i will not be leaving this holiday season for another country. Why ? School starts August 2nd next year. And at best i can only leave the force ONE WEEK BEFORE. Manpower directives blah blah blah, cutting the crap short, i will not have enough off accumulated next year for me to participate on all the fun filled events next year during orientation and stuff. So i am push forward-ing my leave next year to "enjoy". I can't believe i am actually applying my disruption, it was just like yesterday i was still eating green packet rations in the middle of the forest. Now, i'm unfit, flubby, unmotivated and a total armchair whore. Its been ages since i've felt like this, and it feels good. Back in home ground, my quartermaster is finally back from his lecture-filled-sleep-buffet course and he put on weight twice as much as i did, and i would like to give him a heartfelt congratulations on being a greater bum than i am. Now that he's back, there's finally someone i can finally have a proper conversation in english without relying on too much hokkien vulgarities. Status : Currently waiting for my sickness to wear off. Labels: insignificant me 2009, The Ahmi Life 321 : Pentium2 1. The ahmi had just rolled out something new, in which some of us had dubbed it as the fantastic Pentium2. I'm quite sure about other organisations out there investing tens of thousands of dollars in IT infrastructure, and safe to say, the ahmi had prolly spent a little of our tax payer's kaching as well. Now the question lies whether the money was well spent on something useful here... I see us clarks as a huge and safe contingency plan to cushion and mitigate all the problems the ahmi has to over. That includes clicking a couple of million times on the approve button instead of implementing a check box function inside their own HR system, of course that's just an analogy of hows it like inside. 2. Been taking loads of taxi lately, and all the taxi uncles are just... mad. They seem to like to talk to ahmi boys like me about their days back in their units. The other day a neatly dressed uncle asked me to gather some ka-kia and pool up money to set up a HOTEL in the jurong area, preferably in twas, where there's a market for erm well... you know...chickens. Throughout the entire journey, he verbally mapped out his business plan, like how much to charge per hour and the size of the room, future expansion into other heartlands etc. . Madness, but fun. Sometimes, there will be bad experiences. One taxi driver asked me to get out of the taxi halfway down the road after he realised i am heading back to a ulu place called twas in which i assume ITS TOO FREAKING FAR for him to get other customers later on. He came out with some crap that he's got a date in town and he needs to return his cab on time, what a load of bullshit. Such errant drivers should be stripped of their licences, jailed, caned, and then castrated. 3. I just got a surprise gift from a group of old friends for my long belated birthday, and it was more shocking than erm well, pleasant. I'm now holding in my hands a pair of bright yellow (you know those NEON yellowish yellow that super stands out) socks. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the colour i must say, its just the printing on it is just so wrong. I'm not even going to imagine which inane person is going to don on those freak cotton. But thanks guys, the package was freakily fun. On a side note, you guys can come over my place for the night after kuah's BBQ this friday if you want (or if its too late to go back home), got the clearance le. 4. I know its probably too late too... but i'm (trying) going for a trip to some place with snow, either japan or korea to skii this coming 1st week december. I've got 1 month to plan as of today. Interested parties drop me a mail or sms. 5. Checked the papers today, and i can safely assume the press and media are being issued a gag order on touchy issues like suicide. There was some big fuss around my area for the umpteenth time, well you know, area being barred off with police tape, huge police tent on the floor, blood. Thats the problem when we have too many high rise, and public escape stairs functionally being wide open for natural ventilation. My good buddy's mom who lives on the 25th floor had tactically (though illegally) planted some potted plants around the landing to make it less convenient for climbing over the parapet. I have to insist these people who decide to end their life prematurely either have no balls to face their own problems. I do not condone ending your own life by any means, that includes jumping off from the 24th floor. 6. ITS NOVEMBER !!!! Another month ! 10 more days to pay day. Time sure passes by so fast when we're busy. Hmm... I can almost smell my CPF money liao. Labels: insignificant me 2009, The Ahmi Life 319 : Open yon eyes !  The current situation is as it is, battling mindless green man with my handy pocket ball point pen with rapid click action. Pretty grim, a good analogy would be playing left4dead 1P with only a pencil, nope, not even a pocket knife. How long can i last ? Labels: other random works, The Ahmi Life 318 : Disasterific I for one, got only a pair of hands. I'm not too sure if there's mutant out there who's lucky to have more hands than i have. The first week of 8 for this batch happened to be extremely understaffed and chaotic, up till the point when my boss, a man in his prime had to do a run down obstacles and fly through man-made ramps. That's something which will happen when half of the company takes leave/go for course/falls sick, and left the pai ka pai chiu to fend for themselves. They got me, a clark to march kids around and lead morning runs. I never really expected people to use me as a true last resort, and that feeling sucks when you got like 40 over things on your hand(s). I suddenly recalled a chinese proverb, 祸不单行, and its damn true. My favourite $15 dollar guitar just had to be stolen during the chaos, disappearing without a single trace. WHY WOULD SOMEONE TAKE A GUITAR WITH TWO FREAKING NAILS STUCK ON THE GUITAR BOARD ? In case no one knew, my storemando had to go fiddle with my guitar while i was on leave, and dropped it, and the whole guitar board gave way, with the string's tension giving the piece of flimsy wood an unsightly curve. So i took a hammer and 2 nails, and nailed back the wood on both sides, and tada, can play the thing again le. The birdbrained storemando even had the shame to tell me "Wah, you fixed it ah." when he didn't even have the balls to apologise to me. I think the thief probably eyed my DUNLOP capo attached to the neck and took the whole damn thing because he's also probably too stupid to know how to remove the expensive capo from the guitar. May karma hit him where it hurts the most. Friday night, the storemandos and i got arrowed to attend some party in camp not because its a terrific party, but one of poor taste which suffers from a premature lack of attendance. My boss probably knew no one wanted to attend the thing and sent us there to fill up the space in the event photographer's shots. There were the usual low budgeted dancers the ahmi could actually afford to entertain the unappreciative "crowd", and some boring games to kill time for the sake of killing time, MY TIME. On the bright side, i enjoyed the cheapo tapioca chips the party had during the 3hr torture session. I had better fun watching automatic doors open and close infinitely. Today went to play a mtg pre-release tournaments after a 4 year break from the game, and boy, the crowd shrunk to such a pathetic size with around 120 players only... I only manage to play the afternoon flight as the morning flight was FULL. Apparently due some very interesting rumour, more players turned up than expected. WHO DOESN'T WANT TO OPEN UP A BLACKIE LOTUS IN THEIR PACK ? Well thats the more exciting news. The packs i opened and registered was utterly unplayable, in another sense i was glad while registering as the judge would probably rotate the cards around the table, so i would prolly get another set of cards. BUT NOOOO, "Players will KEEP THEIR REGISTERED CARDS." GG, had to play 3 colour liao. Ended up with 3 lose 1 win, there goes the ranking. Grand Prix was zoom zoom and vroom vroom when i got out of the tournament area and entered into 2 meter high barricades littered all over the bay area. Uniformed guards a plenty, and everyone's just walking around with their HDD camcorders or their DSLRs handing down their neck. I manage to find a spot near a grassy ledge slightly elevated up and caught a few glimpse of the cars zipping by, no pictures though, carrying my ahmi safe mobile phone with me then. I realised i'm not too good with impromptu reactions to solve problems or handle an unforeseen circumstances, and i often take for granted things will just happen as i plan with murphy's law an unknown concept. I plan a lot, setting up parameters with some margin of errors, check through them meticulously up till the point i feel confident about a project/issue, then i will simple let go, expect it to automate and work wonders. More often than not, i fail to judge a particular factor and acknowledge its erratic prowess, the human. To quote my boss who probably quoted someone else (he's a big fan of quotes and an english guru), "Treat man as not a creature of logic, but as a creature of emotions." I freaking can't agree more. Labels: insignificant me 2009, The Ahmi Life 317 : 53rd Ah, feels good to be blogging again after a short hiatus of 1 month... How's everybody ? Healthy ? Eating well ? Me ? Oh, i gotta say, it was a blast for these 5 weeks of nothingness, just relaxing, pushing aside my usual duties and just staying chilly. First it was ahmi open haus, practically went for it everyday with different people every single time. I even did duty on the last day, and i saw how freaking fast they packed up the area and all the nice arsenal of displays simply vanished within a few hours in the not so silence of the night... Then it was shopping and eating and shopping and eating and eating my brains out of all the delicious food i can eat, and the more i ate, the happier i felt about it. One of the sushi chains in sg had the $1 per plate promotion recently and best of all, i manage to get friends to join me for a sumptuous meal on PAYDAY. Let looooose baby, oh and the top buckle on my belt too... I have this very "sexy" tan line on my back and shoulders now after 4 2-hour sessions at my kamp tennis court, 40% of the time actually playing and the rest picking up balls. Just started some serious lessons from some of my kamp mates who were ex-school teams and are VERY good. I can almost never return a proper serve overhead serve from them... Made a few more friends from other units too. Other than tennis as a sport to kill off a minute percentage of my carbs, my fellow cq from HCJC who is an up up up CKKia, became my fellow run-mate/babe watcher. We run, and kua zhar bor at the same time whilst running... The route ? Well, none other than along the road in the most expensive district in Singapuur, where it features a central water canal. Hint hint. I was sceptical about the babe watching part before we ran, as seriously, its a very boring road... until i remembered the number of schools that are located along the road. Pwned. Well, that HC kia friend of mine sure knows what he was doing. We ran from the mac at one end of the road to the other end... and back. Madness i tell ya. A bit about my work now... Manpower is running very low, and big boss wants us all to adapt to the faculty concept, where critical personnels are being stationed in a centralised location, to be shared within the whole school. This on the surface sorta solves the manpower issue, but deep down one would not feel emotionally motivated and attached to their work, because in actual truth, you're being treated like soccar buur, kicked here and there, a tool to fulfil the needs of a larger organisation. The cycle continues with more people not wanting to do their job properly, and thus taking the easy way (and smarter way) out, resign and leave the place to corrode. In a nutshell, my workplace as a whole is like a huge energy sink, a cranky generator, eating up more fuel than actually producing feasible results which in turns churning out more negative energy than needed. Bottom line ? Not my fight, not my problem to solve, its beyond my pay scale. The perks of going home almost every single day is well, the usage of teh komputah. I got a PS3 controller just to hack it mod it as a wireless bluetooth controller for my kick assed system. Completed prototype (mediocre), mirror's edge (nice graphics but ridiculous gameplay), devil may cry 4 on hard (button mashing goodfun) and currently trying my hands on resident evil 5 in which the first few hours was pretty painful (controls were horrid). Currently Scribblenauts is the in-thing as of this season around the world, and at the same time, inviting my bunkmates, an indian national, a lion dance ah beng and my CCKia HCJC buddy to come out with interesting words to solve puzzles are just humorous. I notice how they like the violent approach of solving a problems, using words like knife, gun, minigun, while i rather stick to interesting and not so violent means like chainsaw (to cut wood) or death (kill mobs w/o weapons) or even balloons to solve the toughest of puzzles. Being able to play DS games at work, or hit the gym or getting my ass kicked in tennis means there's no gahment around at work... Boh Cheng Hu. Some are not even coming for work, some playing extreme truant, some just basically heck-caring and self declaration of 1 month OhAhDee. This is what happens when no one cleans up their mess and live a half-f attitude in life...  An artist's impression of what it would be like it no one gives a shit. It could be a lot worse if there were bloodstains and phlegm on the floor and walls...if fights and epidemics do break out in the room. I've leave that topic for another day. I recently watched a video on economics, in brief the topic was on how having lower expectations in life can lead to greater happiness. I discussed it with a few buds and all of us could not agree more to it. If we could reduce the "want" in every of us, life could be so much less of a pain, and be satisfied with each and every little thing that's being given to us. Its a whole load of philosophical nut crack, but i think i can sum it up simply by saying... LOOK WHAT WAS THERE and NOT WHAT IT MUST BE THERE. Perhaps architect legend Mies van der rohe all along wanted something to mean something else... ? Labels: insignificant me 2009, The Ahmi Life 315 : The Red Knot The other day one of my trainees approached me to apply for marriage leave. I smiled at him, and said "So, forgot to check clear eh ?". For someone who's at the same age as i am, and tieing the knot at such an early age, you gotta assume that something had gone wrong. "Nope, we just decided it was time." He replied me firmly. I was honestly puzzled, "Huh, you mean no kids ?" "Yeah." "Been dating for 8 years." "That's since you were fricking 13 years old....." "Yeah." "So... when you getting married ?" "Next week." Then i realised, he had signed his life away in the ahmi, drawing a fatter salary than us all. We chat on and he told me how his parents were supportive of his decision and even funding most of his wedding banquet. With just that 10minutes talk cock, one could tell he's easily likeable and friendly. No wonder he was rated so high by peers and commanders alike. I forgot who told me this.... If you want to live a comfortable life, work. If you want to be successful, network. Well, as for his marriage leave, i didn't manage to apply for him because i have never done it before, and the king of clerks is currently having chicken pox. I told him it could get ugly if KOC doesn't come back... but i'll try my best to help him. There seems to be a influx of people (chinese esp) getting married, having kids at an early age nowadays. In the past, having kids under 25 is a norm, and now its all coming back to haunt us. Are the baby bonuses working ? The news and statements report a no, but that's not what i observed... I have some 80 kids(trainnnees) under my wing, and 7 are either married, or with kid(s). HAHA KIDS WITH KIDS THEMSELVES. On a totally unrelated note, GIJOE was a blast to watch, 2 hours of mindless action, graphical eye candy and your typical american heroes movie. I'll just list my favourite things that i saw in the movie. Gigantic submaries, evil mad scientist, nanomachines, really fast planes, snow mobile, armored SUV, shapeshifters, red heads, blond-turn-brunette, explosions, morrocans, big scary black spec ops guys, eiffle tower, powered suits, underwater dogfights, shurikens, epic sword fights, self destructing enemy base, ballistic missle launches, flashbacks, masked man, evil dictators, undying soldiers, really cool sunglasses, medieval knights and torture, airstrikes, polar bears, magical ablities that dodges bullets. My buddy kuah didn't enjoy the movie as much as he was holding his pee for 1 hour, he literally shun-poed out of the cinema. Pity. "Where got Ghost" was Singaporean-esque awesome as well, especially the ahmi episode, liked the N for 南 and S for Si (西) joke, a good reminder of the Car fuel joke back then, F for finish, E for Enough. Its already half past august ! Can really start counting down le. Labels: insignificant me 2009, The Ahmi Life 312 : 1 year, 1 freaking year AHMI RANTS BELOW. RAOR (read at own risk) I like how time passes so quickly, you don't even have time to strike off the day box on my table calender. Yes, i have a table calender that comes free with those issues of men magazines with some pretty naughty pictures. One of my fellow buddies in the ahmi didn't want the calender even though he subscribes yearly for the magazines, because he "didn't want to destroy his pure and innocent image" in front of his superiors by using it at work. And so he gave it to me, to destroy my clark life by super-gluing it onto my table. Strangely my superiors didn't question the obnoxious calender, and flipped through the months to see all the pictures from time to time. MEN. 2009 is past its halfway mark as we welcome the next half of the year with more shit coming our way. July... which is the month of orientations and fun stuff that goes on in universities in Singapore, and when 2010 July kicks in, i will be a freeeee man. Though i am officially done with my FT job in the ahmi in september, i am so not gonna wait for another freaking year for uni to start. Which means, if comparatively with my JC friends of the same age, well, guys, say... GAYRY and pravarataratnamvin and rui-ge, i'm just 1 year behind by following the more "practical" route of the poly kias. If i had continued archi, i'm on par with the with my 1 year advance standing, which i am gladfully not. The ladies of course, are still gonna totally own our asses for many years to come, until when ahmi is gonna be just "around 8 months" in 2025. Hmmm... at this point of time, i'm sure many of us inside the protective walls of the ahmi camps feel the same shit as i do, and those out there with your preeehhhhshasss pink IC probably hummed on the same note as i. Oh wait, my report just came in.... and its thankfully only 11 pages to process. During the feverish hell week last week the daily report hit an amazing 30 pages... and peace times its only 3-5 pages. Time to crunch more data and words and appease the great generals sipping tea on this sunday afternoon with the report from my side. END OF REPORT. Here's what's gonna be my standard schedule for my evenings during weekdays and weekends hopefully for my next year left. 1: Clear all outstanding work thrown to me from the higer mortals 2: GYM and producing a sketch of the week. 3: Nights off with my errr... bunkies (see prev post) for L4D 4: GYM and Ninjaaaa warrrioor/PSP/DS 5: GYM and Night Run ... or Go home ! 6: Gaming/3D modelling at home/lunch+movie with ka-kias/late night shopping 7: Switch off/go back kamp. As the saying goes, WORK LIVE PLAY ! I hope i don't get sued for this. Labels: insignificant me 2009, The Ahmi Life 311 : 人多很 They say that in the ahmi.... one would meet many types of people... and i can't bloody agree more. As a clark working in a training school who handles more than 500 different students every year, you get a nice variety of weirdos. 1 including myself of course. But for me as a permanent feature in my camp, i get to sleep in the same room with all the other unlucky people who runs the school. And boy, they are more than colourful. If my tehkong life meeting ah bengs and keng-sters are 24 bits colour mode, currently my life here is an insane 32 bits. A brief introduction to the 5 of them. 1. A 3 roof sarge with a record of both going to the infamous jail for ahmi and getting a silvah bahyonat. He's also a mix blood of peranakan, malay, chinese and some dutch. Speaks malay but looks extremely chinese. Vocalist in a heavy metal band which performs monthly in pubs and other night hang-outs. Works out in a gym 5 times a week just to look more "ROCK" during his performance. Very sweet tongue. 2. Another 3 roofer who's gonna fly back to the states in august to complete his degree. A singaporean who grew up in hong kong but completed his high school diploma in america. Fluent in cantonese and english. He's our quarter master and another gym enthusiast even though he's having some eczema problems since young. Has six pack and loves reading obscure literary titles which no one ever borrows in the library. Consumes 3 200 page books a week. His english is so zai that one would find it a bit hard to understand him. 3. A high caste indian who just turned 18 year old. Being made a logistic assistant because he's having some diabetic problems. Love to eat. Recently came to Singapore with his father and became PRs. Was previously posted to another place but he got pulled out as he lacked the kiasu-ness and kiasee-ness of a typical citizen (in which is pretty acceptable). Insults people by accident due to his mouth not being wired tothe brain. Sent to my company for training as my bosses are all indians. Currently learning english, social etiquettes and not pissing people off. Self proclaimed lance korporal....(he's a recruit). Turning vegetarian but still sometimes succumb to temptation of chicken curry puffs. His belly is bigger than his head. Steals my food during meals when i'm not looking. 4. A former boys school student who landed a position in ITE to study engineering due to his street smarts. Even though he studied engineering and graduated with a cert, he could barely spell the word engineering. Extremely good in DOTA, and only DOTA. Also a logistic personnel to deal with stores and equipment, in which he gives no damn shit about. Talks to me all day about his former glories of fighting in schools and winning fights in which he rarely got injured. Currently suffering from migraine, possibly from an old head injury he got from playing street soccer a few years back. Sleeps 12 hours a day. Only book out at night to play lan with us. Loves my company as i speak mandarine and english he can understand. Loves wang wang biscuits. 5. A new 18 year old malay guy who just came in (newer than me) from tehkong. Fetched him myself from HQ to our company and intro-ed him to everyone. Very quiet and loves doing mundane jobs. Worked previously as a cleaner in a famous publishing company in singapore as he only had a primary school cert. Currently dating a girl he met in the same primary school for 6 years, in which curiosly is the same school i was from as well ! Approached me one day to help him apply from finacial aid but he smokes 10 cigarettes a day to de-stress. Similarly, he's poor in english and only speaks fluent malay. Afraid of answering calls in office due to his disadvantage in the language. Self taught classical guitarist. As you can read, i'm in a tight situation for communication with my staffs and sometimes it feels like really duck and chikens talking to each other. They sometimes get into fights because of mis-communication and i have to step in to err... mitigate the insults. Its funny to see 2 person of different backgrounds throwing hokkien vulgarities in each other.... Hmm... Maybe we should make hokkien the administrative language in my company. Just maybe. Labels: The Ahmi Life 308 : Carrot and the 100m long stick Recently i bought Dan brown's The Da Vinci Code for a friend as a birthday gift, because throughout the whole of this person's life he had never finished reading a single damn story book. At the fiction section corner i got another book for myself for the long hours in camp this week, Digital Fortress also by the same author. Its been 4 days of reading and i'm already halfway though the book. Pretty impressive considering i read the book during cough*toilet*cough breaks, lunch break and the 15 min train ride home, or any other chance i find myself not doing anything and waiting... which doesn't happen all too often thanks to my job =(. Ok. 'nuff said. I was talking to myself in the shower and i realised all this bad working conditions is due to the culture of the place and people. Ahmi is too concerned about image and the culture is just as the title says, Carrot Danglers. Promise you this that, but the action falls short of all the big talks, won't state any examples as there are just too many. Argh. There was some concerned there are eyes prying the net looking for idiots who reveal too much about how ahmi is/was. There was also some concerned that as blogs are often accessible to anyone, my future employee or interviewer could run a search string on my name and err... read all about me. Responsibility responsibity. I know well even if one day i delete everything here, they could be retrieved somehow (i won't tell you how) and bam the past will come to haunt you. So fellow readers and ahmi personnels bloggers, be careful what you write and be responsible about it, your ass might just catch fire one day without you knowing. Oh tweets are also being monitored too btw. As a disclaimer to CC (cover car-chng), everything you guys read here are just to be taken with a pinch of salt, and never quote me and reference me for anything i write here. kthx. At time of writing, i just saw the trailer for Modern Warfare 2 and this DS game called Scribblenauts, do check them out and be wowed. I've always been a serious player for COD4:MW and erm, its time to move on. I can't wait to play them coming... end of year. Long way more to go for ahmi, 1 year 3 months. Loads of people left the service today, envy envy. My next 2 weekends will be burnt in camp thanks to poor planners and people who don't give 2 shiets about feelings. Labels: announcement, The Ahmi Life 301 : Clark And post 301 marks the beginning of my humble journey to become a measly little company clerk. It ain't 8-5 as most people would imagined and i do hope its kind of... lax. I'm not sure, today's my first day and i'm at home busily packing my things back into my bag again for the 3rd time this year while i brace myself for a brand new home. Let's have a quick recap : 1. tehkong 2. paiseh rubba sixpack K (twainee) 3. paiseh rubba sixpack E (ohohsee) 4. paiseh rubba sixpack gutroom (ohohsee) 5. paiseh rubba tuadog oxroom (observar) 6. paiseh rubba sixpack B (clerk) 7. No, i don't think there's no. 7 Oh jeese. Imagine for every new place i go, i need to pack in all my things, and then unpack, then pack again, bring back the things i thought i do not need only to bring them back the very next week because i'm going somewhere else. The leh-ceh-ness is fantastic ! But after 6 times of moving here and there, you kinda get used to it, meeting new people, keying in new contacts into your phone only to call these people once or twice. I've met more Jeremy(s) than i can count with both hands, oh and did i mention ? 3 Jeremy tan. And i thought the name weilong was common. (HAHA) I remember back in secondary school (after we toured the off-icers school on a fieldtrip, i had envisioned myself already inside ahmi, in a lonely outpost in the middle of nowhere, reading books while listening to a dying radio. I was a clerk, jotting down vehicle numbers going in and out of the compound, it was boring-lish hell. But that was many years ago when i was pure and don't throw vulgarities at a random stranger on a street. Now... yes now, its 943pm and another good 2 hours plus before the time i need to land my ass back inside my new (yet old) home, with toilet paper, undies, night snacks, coffee, books and batteries to last myself a FULL WEEK till friday night. Aiming for my golden keyboard. Labels: The Ahmi Life 297 : Rats Rats. Was i surprised to find my huge ali baba bag filled with cereal and milk powder all over the sides and even in the pockets. I looked closely and noticed this 5cm wide hole under my bag..... and it looked really like bite marks... of what i'm not sure... but you get the idea. Yes, rats bit through my leather-liked bag and chewed through another few layers of plastic, to find their (actually its mine, bought them at NTUC downstairs near my place) tasty snacks and had one hell of a buffet... of super 3-in-1 cereal. And so i spend the next 1 hr cleaning up the mess in my bag at home while waiting for my posting all the way to changi. So its sayonara to my 4 month stay in tuas.... and konichiwaz to loyang/changi. I packed my new bag free of rats leftovers and prepared to report the next day... only to find out 4 hours later i got posted back to lovely durvy tuas. Feel so damn like ping pong ball now=X. But i've learnt much in the realm of dippinig my thumb in sweet ambrosia and lollipop my way into ignorant bliss.  And one for the win. Labels: The Ahmi Life 296 : The Way Out ? It pays off sometimes to be a nice person everywhere we go, because you will never know especially in this tiny sunny island when you would actually bump into a fellow acquaintance, or someone you know... or not. Having myself tossed around like ping pong regarding my ahmi posting ( don't we all love TV dorama ), you get to know a lot of people; bad, evil, oscar-grade, fat, lazy, and the worst types are the siao-on types. And finally, i think that i do not really have to tahan the annoying types. Here, at my yet-another-new work place, which is actually within 500m from my previous work place, the people here are more people-like, more human. Unlike the slave drivers that dominated us previously, its more of a cozy environment where you could, eat, sleep, watch TV ( channel 8 dorama), work, fulfill your duties, shit and shower... oh and use the internet, like right now. Initially there are 2 of us being attached to this place, but the other bugger, he hates the air-con bunk and the need to stay inside here for 24 hours in a row. Frankly, i think he's claustrophobic and he doesn't like to read. I like to read, people here likes to read. And best of all, we all watch DVDs. The old birds here like DVD too(after 5pm). Today is my 2nd day a weekend inside this 10x5m room with all you can eat night snacks. And my upperstudies are letting me go early to spend time with family because next week is intensive training eveyday to equip us with the relevant skills to answer phone calls, handle keys and on how to identify showers that doesn't go full blast on you. Its a small family here unlike other places where strength lies in numbers, here is where strength lies in doing the wrong things at the right time. Labels: The Ahmi Life 294 : 14 hours 6 points to note today. 1.We try not to think too much about it, but the thought of going back to ahmi land keeps getting strongly as buku in as the clock ticks by. Ah heck. We half year grunts should be used to the meaningless tortures we go through inside, locking us up, whipping us with their nasty tongue, and at the end of the day dangling the off-pus book infront of us. Dang, they're damn privates too. Me ? I'm proud of my single chevvy plus atap chee hanging down my shoulder sides. 2.Despite tomorrow's Highly Advance Relay Duties ( HARD ) for the Chamber Of Higher Incompetence Learning Laboratory ( CHILL ) over this weekend, I've managed to pull up my socks and endure whatever sian-ness that will totally overwhelm me. I have equipped myself with proper equipment for ANY ordeals; Pokey moan the latest version to fight off sleep by "gotta kill em' all" for the 2563rd time. Or the loading up the latest episodes of HE-ROLLS, seeing how bad guys turn good then turn bad just to shock us again by turning good... again, and turning bad again, and of course watching all that on my tiny media player on my soft comfy bed with the same old GREEN blanket over my cold feet. 3.I dug up my extremely yellowish story book titled "ANNE FRANK". Found it lying underneath a 6cm layer of dust under my bed. I recalled promising myself i will somehow finish the damn book before my final literature exams back in secondary 2. I though, hmm, maybe i can finish this in ahmi land, where i can show off to my bosses how well cultured by err... reading anne frank. The next second i knew it would'nt work, and i threw the book right into the bin. Never passed my lit anyways. 4. Bought some new goods, part of the package after i watched the recent shopaholic movie in which i realised i'm spending too little to help the economy move. Best part is, these babies are... yup, they're RED. I can't wait to post up the pictures of them, they're soooo cute and oh my god, can i say... absolutely charming ? Too bad my webcam is down, its at night, not enough light also to take a decent photo from my camera (i mean too lazy to use the flash). 5.On the way back today by train, there was this huge eye sore (super pun here), it was flashing, it was moving, it was stuck on a wall, and you could see it from 1km away. After walking a few steps more out of the train, holy crap, there's one more at the side.... You know what talking me ? CB try to make a guess. Oh mans, it was worse on ground level, it was distrating as hell, the 9-5 crowd was already bad enough plus friday night and people had to walk even slower now thanks to that. I am so disgusted in these people ultilizing all available space to generate revenue from basically anything that could be milked from. Eeehek. 6. Best shit that happened to me a few days back was probably opening up a letter i thought i was never going to recieve. I got short-listed for interview + test at a nearby university after being rejected last year despite being not so confident of getting in. Strange thing was i did not submit ALL of the documents needed for admission... and why the heck did i got chosen anyway ? Devil's luck i guess. Well, now need to prepare the damn CD and my portfolio nicely filed up to show this coming end of month. If i do possibly confirmed a position inside... i think i first thing is get a bike, then can bike to schoooooool everyday. Imaging the awesomeness involved. Bah, that's 2 freaking years from now. TWO. YEARS. ORDORODORODOODOROSROOSRO. Goodnight, have fun, good day. Labels: architecture nonsense, insignificant me 2009, The Ahmi Life, うそ 290 : Submissions = Stress Its clear. This society is littered with mindless, selfish, gutless liars. And today, it proved just that. I'd like to share a short story with everyone. There was a farmer named Tyke. He lived alone in a small and poor county 5 miles off the city center with his small farm of sheeps and chickens. Day by day, he took care of his beloved animals, feeding it and grooming them for one day they will be sold off in the city AS FOOD. And so, years gone by, and Tyke was getting pretty old. He found it difficult to move around and mend his sheep and filling up the chicken feed would break more than a sweat. One fateful day, a little boy from a nearby village asked Tyke whether he could help him with his farm work, in exchange for some gold. Tyke agreed, and allowed him to help out for a day. At the end of the day, seeing how a job well done the boy had performed, he requested the boy to come back tomorrow, as it was a small price to pay for someone to do the work for you. And, the boy agreed. After not too long, the boy had been coming over to help almost every single day, either cleaning the pen or washing the farm. He had gained the trust of Tyke through his continuous hard work. Tyke knew, one day, the boy would request for more gold for the work done, he made a mental note to fire the boy's ass off once he requested for a pay rise. And sure enough, that day had come. Tyke paid him his final salary and kicked him out of his farm. The boy, saddened, reluctantly walked home with a half empty purse. Tyke wasn't too nervous or anxious to find an extra helping hand immediately. He could still probably survive using his own effort to raise his animals. But then, he realised he did not have the strength to lift up the water from the well, he could not catch up with the sheep when he herded them in the prairie, and the feed was too dirty for him to clean alone. He knew, he was in deep shit. Gradually, the sheeps died, and the chickens thinned, they could'nt even be sold off for cheap chicken rice. And his wealth faded each sunset after sunset. He prayed for a moment, for the boy to return and help him out, for such help could never be found anywhere else. Sure enough, the boy was passing by his farm from the village to the city. Grabbing the chance, Tyke offered to pay the boy extra gold for him if he could produce the same results previously. The boy, now slightly older than he was before, and smarter a bit, agreed. Tyke went back to his rest area away from the sun to relax and watch TV, while the boy was busy outside doing his duties. When the boy returned to report that the job was done, Tyke gladly handed over the gold and let him go. Tyke decided to go the city the next day to sell off all his animals and retire. At dawn, Tyke went to get his wagon, and prepared to load all all his poultry. To his horror, all the animals had died, their eyes white out with signs of blood gushing out from their slit opened intestines. The chickens had lost their heads too. He knew at that instant who's doing it was. And he wanted to pursue the matter with the boy. However, the boy was never found or seen again. Yes, i am at the edge of my sanity threshold. Hanging by the pinky. Labels: insignificant me 2009, The Ahmi Life, うそ 287 : Honourable Duties Our <<<#>>> is a real pain in the nostrills and he's like my childhood horror amplified 45x equipped with a rifle for a mouth. Worst off, he's dark like charcoal, burning on a innumerable scale of rage in eternity..... He's the epitome of garang-ness and the embodiment of pain. HE IS THE BANE OF THE OhOhSi kids. That's us, the child labourers of the ahmi. Instead of equipping us with guns, we're handling brooms, sponge and the duster 24/7 now. And thanks to this training, i can sweep up dust like a SM goddess with a leather whip, or whatever she holds in her hand. =X At the end of the day, its either I GO, or HE GOES. Garang-ness and garand-less are like oil and coffee. I'm coffee. POSE OUT POSE OUT POSE OUTTT ! Labels: The Ahmi Life 286 : Ruthless Its been another long long long week in the ahmi, not that i want to emphasis the length of the sian-ness we kids get to experience inside... Haix....... And since i got plenty of time idling, i used that precious period of stoning to think about things. Yesterday's the last day of the application excercise. So lets say, lets JUST say ahmi is being abolished, with boys hitting the age 16.5 being not liable for bleeding for the country. So we guys would spend more time hitting chicks and clubbing business would become a boom, more gangs would rock the society, thus higher paying jobs for policing. A 10% GST would have been implemented 10 years back to feed more mercernaries to bleed for our sake instead. And probably me, my close friends and my bunk mates would be worrying about exams, project schedules or work frustrations this coming monday. Yeah, its an endless road ahead of us i realised, with still lots more "omg sian" gonna splurt out of our mouths. On last wednesday, i told myself, "ok this coming weekend must enjoy". And shit does happens, i got told last minute i got GUT DUTY on sat till sun morning, and yes my guts did shrink to the size of peanuts. I've already booked movie tics for both slumdog and suspect X. Well, i was only nominated among 3 people for GUT and 1 only need to do it. 33.3% chance of tio-ing. When we were interviewed each by the sai-kang delegate, i prayed silently to myself, believing that there is a god in everyone of us. But most importantly, i answered questions with honest and truth, tried to not seem too sad or reluctant, and most of all, LOOK UNIMPORTANT. For heavens sake, getting under the radar does help. And it did paid off, with another CKK (ciaokengkia) having the mortar up his... I'd like to announce i've successfully level up on the skills of evasion and luck. I'm more confident of similar confrontations in the future now. Judging from the current condition, i reckon i just need to pump my MAGIC and more EVADE so if my luck fails, i can do the huhar ! like david copperfield and escape any mean situations. Either that, or there's always the ASS-EH-EFF hotline. =X Labels: The Ahmi Life 285 : New Lease of Unlife Its late no doubt. With the stale air from the crappy VRV unit blowing onto my face, i looked out of my window, and i see those graduants from ASL sheee strolling out from the faraway cookhouse, loved ones alongside. We finally had some rain (my PC said "wah tsunami" when he saw the storm) after a few days of extreme dryness. Ok not that extreme relative to the disaster that occured in melbourne. The parade went on okay, with minor hiccups. And with all the sediah, cheers and whatever going about. I was very occupied, not with work, but with the exciting things that are being presented in my itouch. HEROES SEASON 2. 10 episodes of blissful coolness tucked into my pathetic 8gb gadget. Hours of conversion at home last weekend to the silly mp4 format. But its worth it. The rest of the twainees are busy sending their blaster rifles into the armoury downstairs, and there's a couple of jedis watching their holographic news report behind my terminal. ada ddq e1 tZfasf af f . . .aw Ahhhh oh no ! A Sith raid ! TO ARMS ! Labels: The Ahmi Life 283 : Phase 3 Ends First off, it was worst than i expected it to be. I was steering myself to be out of the shit was in by reporting sick. Reason ? Asthma. Its real, no ciaokeng here. For the 1st time ever in my life, i was put on IV drip with the ventolin and STEROIDS. I did not inquire too much why the extreme measures by the doctor, just really got freaked out when they poke the 16mm needle into my vein. Boy, did it hurt. To bring myself lower one more level, i squealed like a small little bunny being caught by the ears, wobbled crazily and got my pants wet a little. No wonder the specs there smirked at me when i said i wanted to be a medic. Imagine doing this to yourself and your best buddy countless times. That aside, i was being downgraded to being unfit for the months of training to come and i got dropped out. (YAY!) Ok, you didn't read the yay at the end of the previous paragraph, but boy, it sure was unexpected. Medical examinations and treatments are inline for me next week, with me spending most of the time now reading and writing and drawing and watching TV while the rest of the 1.5 stripes are battling imaginery enemies (yet again...). I'm gonna capitalise on this time and get my JLPT 3 by this year. Maybe pick up driving and keyboard among other things i want to achieve in life... Sure, my pay would drop a significant amount... but you can never buy time, and YOUTH. P.S. AND A BIG SORRY TO MY BUDDY VICENT KOU. FOR BOTH PANG SEH-ING YOU AS MY ASL死 SECTION MATE/BED BUDDY AND MISSPELLING YOUR NAME. Labels: The Ahmi Life 282 : Natural Selection I was on my way back from the clinic, walking along the streets of busy clementi central, simply looking at people. Well, i don't mean to stare at each and everyone, just trying to guess how each and everyone was thinking at that particular point in time. There's an awful lot of people here who just knocked off from work having their dinner. (must be thinking whether they can keep their job or not) WORK. There's a bunch of kids mugging in the newly opened mos burger along the road. (sine rule cosine rule, omg) STUDY. And when i reached macdonalds, i see a lad roughly my age in his photosynthetic suit, most probably ordering his dinner at the counter. (book in later,omg sian) AHMI. I guess its the same for us. Each one of us. There's the indescribable boredom when it comes to ahmi. Regimental, wayang, i can't seem to find the right word. I won't deem it as part and parcel of life, its more like a test, a part of a system that filters out the weak and glorify the strong, just like our silly school exams. I have my newly taken infuntry kohmander's school platoon photo right in front of me now. I'm staring at it, its staring back. I'm looking hard at those buggers, half-assed worms that some how got through the system and now end up in the same school i did. They claim we're top 30-40%. I say we're just a rat pack clowns being played with. It is very very sad when the people around you crushes your motivation and take advantage of it to make their own lives easier. I believe the ahmi higher ups took a pragmatic and rational approach to seperate us according to our strenghts. And the point here is, there's many things thats going on wrong at ground level which will never reach the correct ears. Or so they advices, go with the flow. They play with you, you play with them. Alrights no more complaining of the inevitable, less than 12 hours to book in. Gotta go do more meaningful stuff with my youth. Labels: The Ahmi Life 280 : Should have but didn't I'm sick, and tired. I need rest. >_<" Gonna past out this week and in addition the 二十八km march coming thurs. Highly doubt i can join the rest in the event. Which means i will be doing sai kang on that day=X. Posting results out this friday too, then sat is our ceremony and its sayonara. And gotta report back again to new place on the following monday. Busy life. Guan yin ma bless me. Labels: insignificant me 2009, The Ahmi Life 279 : 75% Be.Slack.Lazy.Creative *Note, today's post is totally skippable. Ahmi has taught me many things so far. The most important lesson of them all is of course, in our terms, "suck thumb". When dealing with a situation which is being your grasp, or when shit happens, simply "suck thumb" and deal with it. No use whining and pondering and making a big fuss out of it. And there are times, you simply gotta switch off and embrace all the shit that fate is gonna pour over you like chocolate fondue. Because, at the end of the day, the sun will still shine again tomorrow (provided we don't get killed by random meteorites first). I'd like to to share an incident in which the chocolate fondue god had paid me a visit this week. It was yet another silly feel "good" camp, the usual 4d3n stay with mother nature. For the record its my 4th time doing it, and i still don't like it, argh. This time round instead of accompanying my slender HAR2! out, i was with a fat heavy noob tube (go google COD4 to see what i mean). Amidst all the sudden attacks of invisible enemies, i swapped my noob tube and its refill packs with a comrade for his super duper machine gun with a CD-rom drive which fires faster than time crisis 6. I was like "AWESOME DUDE!" because i get to unleash the firestorm on my made believe enemies with my new wife. And it was during this swap, my comrade, whom got to nervous about firing the noob tube, along with the weight of his honorable duties got too distracted, dropped one of the the parts of his new wife (my old wife). Clearly my comrade didn't proved he was bothered by the fact his zabor had lost a limb or 2.... GG CONFUSING ? YES! We only noticed the noob tube had her parts missing when we got sent back to the concrete jungle. Not a good sign really. We panicked, and looked and searched and looked and searched, and we panicked more. It felt kinda exciting yet in a shitily manner. My comrade and i gave each of us the GG face. Good game. Surely, when the pimp... i mean the guy in charge of the noob tube came knocking on our head asking how come his errr... assets got damaged, i reflexly blamed it on the chocolate fondue god in which he got more confused, and became more angry. GG. That is when, i saw a holy light slowly decent upon me, a silhouette the shape of a slightly deformed oval, with jagged edges at its side. I could almost hear the church organs playing at the background which in fact was my bowel movement in respond to this revelation. And when the light cleared, i could see, a huge golden thumb, with clean cut buffed nails, glittering in the midnight sky. It was... beautiful. LESSON : AIYA BOBIAN JUST SUCK YOUR THUMB LA. WHAT COMES, COMES. I had a close brush with death again as my comrade took the blame for losing the limb of MY noob tube, just recieved a great deal of scolding and a good saliva shower. 75% completed already. もうすぐ. Labels: The Ahmi Life 275 : Effortless And so, the tua taos asked us to print out our own passport photos with a garang look ( not smiling ) and submit during our next return home trip. And due to the fact i am a man with little motivation to head down to some photography shop wearing my slime green attire, i decided to do it with a tripod, camera, PC, printer with photopaper and an empty wall at home ( rare, had to move some stuff away). And the bottom line is, after all the effort ( which took around 25 mins to finish printing and changing back to my nice comfy shirt ), i recieved news that, photo is not needed anymore. And i printed one full A4 piece of myself, in slime green with a not so glad look. At this time, people may comment that i don't have that kind of happy look all the time, which is perfectly normal. Here's a picture of the halfway cut out pictures of many me, along with my other misc items that i threw around on my table.  "Fierce!" Labels: The Ahmi Life 274 : Nope, not today. There's a lot of negativity brewing about me this week in my 2nd home. And based on experience, no ones likes reading about negativity and the writer would just gather up more negative thoughts and become more zombie-like, mindless aimless and drenched in self-pitiness. No good at all. Speaking of being zombie-like, i am currently feeling the transformation in me right now. Not exactly a baaad thing in my aspect ( thinking positively Yes. Positive energy. That's what i need, especially next week when i once again embrace the mud grass trees insects, moths ants and their millions of cousins in the forest for another FIVE days. Wow ! Imagine how much fresh air i would breath during then! I could probably extend my lifespan from 30 yrs to maybe 30.5 years. Who knows ~! Next part is skip-able. A bit about ahmi stuff that some people might want to know, and its about twainee life. As a twainee, when you get appointed in leadership roles, you're probably in a bunch of deep sh!t. When appointed, your number 1 goal is to find a good shovel, and dig your way out of the pile of sh!t. Word of advice, no matter how deep, 1m, 2m, 10km deep, JUST WORK and DIG with all your might. And hope, the next guy who assumes your role, will take a longer time digging his way out than you did. If you don't understand its ok, it just means you have yet to put on your "Completed Sai-Kang" training badge. Well, don't rush it. There's probably "Sai-Kang proficiency level 1" and "level 2" achievement somewhere down the line. Long way to go~ Push on ! P.s. saw my tehkong sarge during dinner todae, probably recognised me, wanted to tell him i went to sh!tspek, but didn't. I didn't want him to have the impression he had influenced a single bit in my journey to become an ahmi leader. I simply had lots of bad karma thats all =) Labels: insignificant me, The Ahmi Life, うそ 273 : 結婚する？ はやい！ I guess there's a first time for everything. Some might think its too early, or too stupid, but there's someone i know in ahmi who's getting married next saturday. As there's not much time to get any gifts or ask for the consent of the whole bunk to figure our something to do to that person, i've volunteered to get him for everyone, a simple greeting card. I've bought birthday cards, made my own birthday cards, happy mothers day card, happy children's day card, so many other special occasions that i'm not sure anymore which one's more important anymore. But never have i bought a "Happy Wedding Day" card. I'm not sure what type of stuff i should write on it too. As experience has taught me, JUST WHACK AR. The lucky guy getting married this year is as old as me, 21 this year. The lucky lady is also 21 this year, and according to intel, a few months older than the guy. You might be thinking, shotgun la ! But nooooooo, its not the case. This person from ahmi is of great integrity, so much it scares the little devil out of me. He's always the first to wash the toilet, something others will surely procrastinate to do. Sometimes i even wonder, am i doing enough ? I wish him all the best, no matter how early everyone thinks his marriage is. Is it a pursue for something formal on paper, or just they just want to be "legal"... haha its debatable, but whatever it is, i'm super cool with it. Ultimately, the ideal age for ladies to impregnate is at 25 years. You can't have EVERYONE having kids at late 30s reaching 40s. Maybe the ahmi should reward him for doing the country a big favour for fighting the ageing population crisis.... Labels: insignificant me, The Ahmi Life, うそ 272 : Running, panting and more running IMAGE REMOVED BY SUPER ZAI AHMI ANTI-BLOGGING FILTERING SYSTEMS. You will run, run, run and run in here. No one fails their run. You will love running." - An over enthusiastic leader When they said, it was 4 klick every morning, i thought, aiya, can't be la, where got run so much one. You won't even have time for breakfast, you wanna run so far...but we still did it anyways. Well, i guess running have got its perks. Your breathe becomes stronger, you have better stamina, you will sweat A LOT, which means, detoxification, and you will slim down, not just the leg areas but the core muscles as well ( spare tires ). No wonder, when i was sipping coffee at borders just now in the evening, some guys were talking how "easy" it was for their 42 klick run/jog. Back then, 42 is an imaginary number when it comes down to running. MARATHONS are just out of my spectrum of imagination, i think i hit 10 klick i want to peng san liao, thats an assumption there though.... Never try, never know. Considering there are 5 days a week, each week in training we'll AT LEAST cover 20 klick running distance. Over a period of 8 weeks, that would be well under 160km. That's about the distance of from here (home) to the end of malaysia's johore state. I think like this quite xiong already, i wonder how the orh-fist-sirs twainee are doing, they're probably fit since the beginning. There's a lot of talk and unhappiness about landing our asses in silly spec around inside our 2nd home. Many of us WANTS to jump over and become orh-fist-sirs. Yes i agree the perks and recognition is there... but doing things to sabotage others and staging a farce just ain't the way to go. I'm sending out a warning to all silly people out there, don't wahyang too much, or the wahahayang will get back to you in the future. I'll end off with a simple statement : 2 day break is just... shiok! Labels: The Ahmi Life 271 : 新しい朝 This year, will be a year with little things to be bothered about. Hmmm, sounds good eh. There's too many things that we should be worried and concerned about now, money, jobs, security, terrorism, dwindling population... blah blah blah, SEE... too much. Of course, we can just be indifferent, and toss all these things aside. LETS JUST DO THAT. Guess i'm just not too noble or responsible enough, ahah brings back memories about the time when i was working on a social responsibilty poster.... NOT. With a new dawn and another fun filled loving 364 days ahead of us, we were asked by our lao da to come up with a new year resolution, a VISION for the future. Honestly, i think its bullshit, but realistically, people like bullshit. It makes people grow up, mature and to be liked by others. Its the foundation of our society =) I guess for the year, as an ahmi men, i can't do much. I can't like previous years, hope and target to get good grades for school, or as a normal person, aim to be rich. Getting rich with ur 490$ ahmi pay is gonna take more than a little while. So, to make things simple ( as things SHOULD already be simple), I'll like to declare that this year : Let's all be happy. Its not just me trying to be happy and all, its about YOU being happy. Yes YOU reading all these darn words over here. Let's just be satisfied with the little things around us. Be appreciative (see prev post). That brings about the question, how do we all be happy ? That, my dear readers, its the answer we all should be searching for starting now, and maybe when you found the answer, you can publish a book about it and earn lots of money... ...just maybe. I'll just be happy that i get to hold super kick assed weapons and shoot imaginary enemies that doesn't shoot back. Labels: announcement, insignificant me, The Ahmi Life, うそ 268 : Optimism Part 1 I remembered about roughly 2 years ago, i had this exact same feeling of anxiety, guilt, fear and helplessness. Its mainly the helplessness feeling that annoys me the most. Lack of control of things around, not able to shit when you want to, being left in a situation in which makes you pinned against a corner, your breathing heavy and difficult. And often than not, life is just like that, OUT OF CONTROL. We struggle mindlessly, aimlessly like slugs with salt poured all over our bodies. Its depressing. Ahmi just is. Something knowing too much is not that beneficial, makes you think thrice about things. Sure, its confirm plus chop we'll get to experience monstrous training and exercises, but i'm sure most of us can push beyond our limit among things, darou? As i sit here in front of my PC, with YUI semi-acoustic melodies pumping through my speakers, i tried to picture myself in a near future, somewhere in camp, reading an interesting book, with the smell of warm coffee seething into my dust-free nostrils. Ah. Shiok. I'll just need to look forward towards that vision, fake as it may be, but it'll get me through i hope. C'mon, what's the worst thing that can happen to me ? Losing a leg ? An arm ? Or maybe perhaps my ego as an ahmi kia. Let me educate some of us not inside of the little things that we city people fail to appreciate. -Home, may it be the food, the fridge, or the warm water you get to wash your ass with. -Security, knowing enough walking out of your comfy home won't endanger yourself with being robbed or mugged. -Family, knowing there's still some people who genuinely care for you... -Water, clean water ! Refreshing and tasty clean water to drink and wash. -Vending machines, one day when electricity comes to us only in history text books....well.. yeah -mp3 players, mobile, or any other electronics... i'm so going to suffer from withdrawal symptoms in camp. And the last one, -TIME. Seriously, without free time ( as in nonobligatory periods of time ), there are so many things you can't do. Hey ! Sure i make it sound as if i am deprived of everything, but at least i am serving the jinkangkor ahmi, and not in north korea or those other 3rd world country doing shit. I guess its time, we just step out of our comfort zone and embrace our hasher reality. What's the worst thing that can happen... to us ? Labels: insignificant me, The Ahmi Life 267 : Iconic  Yeap, three smilies. That's where i am heading towards coming monday. I don't know whats worse, my posting, or the err... literal design of the pahlade square. Labels: The Ahmi Life 264 : Huh?! What's GEE PEE ?  Since most of us here, reading this rusty 1 yr old blog of mine since i moved to this url, are mostly ( MOSTLY ) between 12-24, you're either an old boy, a nice lady, or a hot-blooded teenager, in which i can't really be too bothered about as the younger are really... in every sense of the abbreviation, WTF. Well, no offense to the ones who are youthful yet pack some respect for the elderly. And therefore, with the demographics, i can deduce that, the whole lot of ya, have no idea that, PEE-OH!-PEE, has since, a few months back, rebranded itself as GEE-PEE, graduation pahlaid. Same number of Es, less syllables, but more shit. Its really these kind of transition phases, you have to be bothered with yourself to correct others for the sake of Mother Singapore. Generations back, no one cared. *envy* Yes! That's right! 12 is better than 11 which is curiously better than 1. Which means, i get to wear my cool t-shirts that doesn't say "Ahmi, the not-so-decisive-force-but-still-can-protect-the-country-somehow" shirts to sleep each night, well for the next 12 days at least. Optimism, that's the 一番大切な trait we short-haired men need to have right now. My super supportive (note* sarcasm here for those who yet to know me all too well) mom came to my GEE-PEE with my super zai camera, as requested by me of course. If i didn't request anything, well, NOTHING would have happen, i would have taken the ferry back myself yesterday. Apparently, a zai camera required extreme skill to operate, as such, most of the shots taken yesterday were a total goner. I managed to salvage a few photos with my zai photoshopping skillz, but as the saying goes, "shit in, shit out". So the best picture so far, untouched by my delicate photo editing skills was the above picture. - - - Ok, fine it was edited with some words to hide the un-focus-ness of the poor shot. All of the shots were bad, i just didn't want my mom to read all these and feel bad herself. Where would you find such a wonderful son like me ? さあああああ～ Labels: insignificant me, The Ahmi Life 263 : 5.5 day work week Coming next Tuesday is my GeePee Parade ! That's the new term coined by the geezers high up there to revitalise the age old Pee-Oh-Pee Parade. Everyone's falling sick, cough flu, fever, mostly fever. I've got a nastly flu and twenty four clicks ain't a walk in the park, its a trek in the jungle with wild savage insects and monkeys and wild boars. But thats ok, we're allowed to bring in snicker bars and coffee this time round. Morale +50%. Not that i want to complain about life, but more often than not, it seems super unfair for somethings, ok make it MOST of the things. 1. The other guys in the school one are having 5 day work weeks rather than 5.5 days, which means most of the time they get to go home on Friday nights. This might seem trivial, but people like me who wants to make a trip to the bank, or my own personal clinic will feel extraordinarily pissed. By the time, i got there on Saturday afternoon, they're closed. Which means i've skipped my personal insurance payment and medication by yet another week. The perk about bloggin on a sunday night means i am going back monday evening/afternoon, but nooooo, tomorrow is a public holidays. And if you're wondering, i did asked permission to leave earlier on saturday mornings/friday nights, but permission denied for ADMIN REASONS. 2. GeePee rehearsals was another thorn in the kidneys. I'm tanned like charcoal now on my arms and face, that sometimes, when i look into the mirror, i thought i turned Bangladeshi. But luckily i'm still putting on my ahmi clothes and i look less like a construction worker, and more garang. Well, since i am this tanned, i though i can save on the black coloured camou cream and maybe even use the savings to buy myself a happy meal or something tasty. If the sun could tan us green, that would be even more awesome, i could save MORE on green camou cream in which more of it are being used, and we'll look as cool as the hulk too. School two guys had 5 rehearsals while the other school had just only 3, so these guys over there looked more brown than black. I've always loved marching, but 5 under the sickening hot sun, is just OVERKILL. Seriously, is image THAT important ? Deterrence my ass. 3. I'm spending yet another lonely weekend at home, with the 4 walls echoing my thoughts and my frustrations. Sometimes, its really saddening. Most of the time, it could be serious fun. You could blast the hi-fi set, disturbing your neighbours and what not. You could record your own songs in the silence of the night without any worry of eavesdropping. I had trouble sleeping last night, after watching a scary movie with my polymates yesterday afternoon. I dreamt that i got posted to artillery as some saikang god last week, but looking at my performance thus far, haix, should be expecting people to call me sarge next time le. Too much typing and whining, my coffee's getting cold, shit. I've still got ironing, dishes, watering the plants, cleaning my room, sorting out my feel-good pack among the other 100+ sketches i've expected myself to do this weekend. And oh, i still got my audition to practice for coming week if i want to become a performer in the ahmi. Chances low, since i am combat fit and all, but having some optimism for once ain't bad after all. OH NO !!! COFFEEEEE ! Labels: insignificant me, The Ahmi Life 261 : Episode 3 - Nicks  I guess its true, you are what you eat. Everywhere you go, its the same for everyone. We just finished out shit test. Hopefully its smoother sailing from now on, no more 40mins sessions of kissing the floor and what not. God bless. Labels: The Ahmi Life 260 : Episode 03 - Cats and Dogs  So so much happened this week. So so much. Everytime we go out during civi time, time just go so fast when we're having fun. 3 days of life comes to an end in about 4 hrs time. Great. My psd-ing skill dropped a lot, can't remember as many short cuts and commands as i used to. Oh goodness. I guess everyone's got their own life, own shit, own happiness to take care of. Labels: insignificant me, The Ahmi Life 258 : Episode 02 - Kare for Soldiers  Click to enlarge in another window Most of the time, only half is true. But seeing other companies bringing in food such as cup noodles, oreos, potato chips, and some even brought in soda water, you just ain't satisfied with just butter crackers. Oh wells, its fate and karma they brought me into this place, lan lan suck thumb ba.I should sketch the swimming pool, the mess hall, the bar ( YES there's a newly renovated bar with cheap beer, not for us though), and the canteen if i get the chance. Labels: The Ahmi Life 253 : Episode 01 - Conscription
This will be the last entry before 2 weeks of cold turkey. Looking forward to the great jungle outdoors, with palm trees, beautiful scenery along with the smell of delicious catered ahmi food. Been told to treat this time as '度假' by someone close. Well, come what may ! Labels: The Ahmi Life |
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